Vain hope
by beautifully twisted
Summary: New. Bella's brother dies. She moves with Charlie because she is getting hooked on drugs in Arizona. What happens when a girl twisted in pain and drugs meets the Cullen's? E
1. Chapter 1

I could hear my blood pumping behind my ears. My adrenaline rush made me numb of the pain I should be filling. I couldn't believe it; my brother is dead and sitting in the driver's seat beside me.

_Please get me out of this car, I can't breath. Oh my gawd. Andrew. I think he dead. Oh god no, please. _I silently begged. I couldn't find my voice.

"Please Andrew, wake up." I croaked. Black dots blurred my vision. Everything went black.

**2 months later…..**

I opened my eyes and was blinded by white lights. My eyes dilated to the light in a matter of a couple of minutes.

"Bella." A voice rejoiced. "You scared us so bad, sweetie. I thought I lost you and Andrew. I didn't know what I was going to do. I can't live with out you both." My mom rambled. Andrew? Losing us both?

"Where am I?" I asked, my voice was coated with sleep.

"Don't you remember? The car accident? Andrew well. Sweetie. He's – he's-"She didn't finish. She didn't have to I was remembering it all, I wish I wasn't. Andrew was dead.

My mom held me close as we both sobbed. This is my entire fault. I shouldn't have got him to sneak out with me for my birthday.

"When is the funeral?" I questioned my mom.

"Honey the funeral was two months ago, you've been in a coma." She told me. "We thought you weren't going to wake up." She continued.

Something inside of me snapped. I broke in half. I missed my brother/best friend's funeral.

I feel so guilty.

**Three weeks later….. **

"Mom, I think I'm going to live with dad." I said.

"Why sweetie? I need you." She pleaded.

"I have to get out of here; it's too much for me. All I think about is Andrew and I feel so guilty all the time, I did this to our once happy family." I cried.

"We don't blame you. Bella, I need you please." She sobbed.

"You have Phil." I stated coldly. Why cant she see what being here is doing to me? I'm an alcoholic and pill popper. I know she has seen all the oxy cottons I stole from her, and hello, where's the vodka that is supposed to be in the freezer? And just like that, I left, and I'm not looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

**What happened in the last chapter..**

_Three weeks later….. _

_"Mom, I think I'm going to live with dad." I said._

_"Why sweetie? I need you." She pleaded._

_"I have to get out of here; it's too much for me. All I think about is Andrew and I feel so guilty all the time, I did this to our once happy family." I cried._

_"We don't blame you. Bella, I need you please." She sobbed._

_"You have Phil." I stated coldly. Why cant she see what being here is doing to me? I'm an alcoholic and pill popper. I know she has seen all the oxy cottons I stole from her, and hello, where's the vodka that is supposed to be in the freezer? And just like that, I left, and I'm not looking back._

* * *

Its been three weeks since I moved in with Charlie, and I haven't gotten any better. I still drink. I dont pop pills anymore because I cant find them. I guess its a start. I dont start school for antoher week. Great. Its getting closer and closer. Right after I moved in Charlie insisted on me getting help, hints the reason why Im in the car on the way to my shrink.

* * *

**One Hour Later...**

"Bella how have you been sleeping?" My shrink ask. Oh boy.

"Fine." I reply monotonously.

"Those bags under your eyes say different." She contradicted.

"Are you having nightmares?" My shrink asked.

I just nodded. No need to lie, she knew.

"Tell me about it." She commanded.

"I try to speak but I can't find my voice. I'm in my brothers room. The room changes into something else - something more. I find a door and I run to it like it's what I've been looking for. As I walk farther through the door I find out this isn't my brothers room anymore. It's hell but it's so cold like death is in the air. I see a condemned house and can't help but walk up the broken porch. I pause for a split second, when I open the door a girl kicks the chair out from under her and I hear a strangled scream. And now I know why it's so cold around me." I can tell my voice sounds like a crazed frenzy, but I can't help it, the images never leave my head.

"Why is it cold Bella?" My therapist questioned.

"Because that girls me." I say.

"Why is that girl you Bella?" She ask more interested.

"Because I kill everything I touch." And then I couldn't take it anymore. I slipped into a sea of nothingness and was blissfully unaware or everything around me. I vaguely remember my shrink calling for Charlie and prescribing anti depressants and sleeping pills that should help with the nightmares.

For the next week Charlie was tip toeing around me, and I couldnt help but think he knew what I told the shrink So now Im suicidal. Just great. I have school tomorrow.


End file.
